Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Loving Unconditionally

It started with a great confusion, everything was not that right. Why do I need to feel such thing, Jesus and I was a close friend since 2nd year high school but recently something happened between us and that made us feel so awkward about it and indeed there was something more than just a friend that I felt about him. I wondered how it happened so fast and until now it made me confused that it seems every time we see each other it feels like we're totally stranger. Stranger that I wanted to hug him but I have no right anymore.

Every pieces of me feels like empty until that day he was gone, he didn't even try to text me, greets me, kidding around me and makes me annoy but that was it. I feel so empty without him, this I realize he was so important in my life. He is the one who makes me feel like I am the real me when I'm with him.

But something and time passes by his love for me maybe was just an option and that made me feel so sad that even him could do that to his close friend. I felt I was just used knowing that he found someone else . It feels like why Lord you have to do this to me? why do you have to take him away from me?

The thought that thinking of him made me so special, I love him for what he is and not for what he have and have not. With him I completely think that he was there to strengthen me. I hope that one day he'll gonna realize how much I love him, I can't admit to myself that I get jealous today when he loves another woman and totally

the bottom line of it, I love Jesus Romulo Zamora....
I love him unconditionally, and it breaks my heart when ever I wanted to smile but knowing that I can't give anything for him... and I'm afraid we have different worlds and I was born not to be rich I was just a mere fact housekeepers daughter and don't have enough money to buy my own things and that what makes me feel so sad about it trying to see that I am not for him...

My Mistake

It's been a while since I got into new world which is my last year in college, the thing that I thought it's not a joke anymore and it seems everything get serious each time you have to decide you've gotta stand by it and fight with it. My life was not the same since I've gotten into a mistake I never thought I would involved with it.

The reason why I got a mistake was that I slipped on my tongue the secret of my friend and that she got angry with me, hated me with rage and can't deny the fact that she shout at me any foul words.

I admit I got slipped of my tongue but my intention was not to blab about her but rather to say that we can help her supporting her. With that she misinterpreted me and I humbly accepted my mistake. I know I was able to said it in a wrong time but I asked forgiveness to God for He knows exactly what I've done.

Then, I think everyone was really hated me for what I have done, they think I'm so cruel and they tend to talk about me and thinking I'm the most stupid person that they've known.

It was then they really know that I was a big fat liar and what else? they really hated me for what I am.

I somehow realized that if they are really a good friend they will confront me and tell me what will I do and the what makes it worst? they even telling me that I was a mere fact BITCH!!! and I hated them for being like that.